So, as I was saying...

...Sunday night, we got baby girl all ready for daycare (see pictures below). I fed her at 6 am and took her over. I barely made it out of the room before I lost it. For any of you who have yet to venture down this path, but are going to, it is HARD!!! I got out to the car and seriously contemplated going back, picking her up and going back home. Surely work wouldn't notice if I never came back. DH might night when we have no money though. So, I would have to get through this. I called him and cried. My sister called after that. I cried again. One thing that really helped though is that while I have been out of work, my sister got a job where I work. So, it was great to say the least to have her there that morning. I cried again when the girls at work asked me how it went. I cried when I called my mom. Do you get the picture yet?

When I dropped her off she was sleeping. I did not want to wake her up, so I put her in her crib, and left. I felt SOOOOOO bad that she was going to wake up in a strange place to strange people and would have NO idea where mommy and daddy were.

I called after a couple hours to check on her. They had to wake her up to feed her. Which was strange. My first thought was, why can't she do that at night? When I went to pick her up, the lady was attempting to feed her but she was completely knocked out cold. Arms as limp as they could be. So, we went home and she slept, and she slept, and she slept. I woke her again to feed her, and she went right back to sleep. This was becoming strange. She had not been awake to play at all. SO, we took her to the pediatric evening clinic. She wakes up while we are there and the dr is poking at her. He diagnoses her as fine. We get back in the car and she is back asleep. We wake her to feed her again that night. DH comes to bed just after midnight and had to wake her up to feed her earlier. We are really getting concerned at this point. So, we get her out of the crib and move her back into the bassinet in our room. She hasn't been in there in a week or so. You know how I was complaining because she was a noisy sleeper. Not anymore. I had to put my hand on her chest several times to make sure she was breathing.

Day two at daycare. I discuss with them that morning that she was still sleeping a lot. So, DH calls to check on her mid-morning. She did not even wake up while they were changing her diaper and had only eaten 2 oz. Ok, panic sets in. More crying ensues. (You would never guess one person could cry so much.) We took her to the doctor and she again wakes up while the dr is messing with her. Which is good apparently. At this point I would rather hear her scream while we are messing with her than for her to sleep through it. Dr says she must just be changing her sleeping patterns. Her weight (9 lbs 7 ozs) is in the 25th percentile, so she is not malnourished and is getting her daily caloric needs. She did not want to run unnecessary tests on baby girl ( I can kind of understand). Her pulse ox (?) was 100%. We are supposed to take her back Friday and weigh her and make sure it wasn't the start of something.

After we got home, she woke up for the next feeding and stayed up through to the next feeding. About 4 hours. She even went on a car ride and to the grocery store and stayed awake for the entire thing. I guess she was slept out. She has done much better today though. The ladies at daycare say she is spoiled. Who my child?

My FIL also made a good point about being upset at taking her to daycare. If I didn't mind leaving her there, I didn't love her enough. I was expected to be upset and that was ok.

Bottom line, for those of you who have not been down the dropping them off at daycare yet, my thoughts are certainly with you. There is no denying how hard it was and is. I feel resentment that these people are taking care of my child, but at the same time, I sooo want them to be good to her, that she enjoys being there (bu tmore so enjoys having me or DH pick her up!).